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At the beginning of my career as a founder and CEO, I wanted to desperately liked my employees. I believed that if I behave like my “true self”, I could build stronger links with my team. Despite my good intentions, it rarely worked.
I had to learn and learn a crucial leadership lesson: OneThe mployes are not your friends. The inherent authority of his role creates barriers to form healthy friendships. Worse, employees can take advantage of their kindness to undermine their authority. This happened to me many years ago, and when he did, he was devastated.
He attended an industry conference with some employees. On the last night of the conference, there was a great party with food, drinks, a DJ and games. I challenge an employee to a video game competition, which I won. Then I boasted in my victory in a dramatic and extravagant way. I behave in this way with my friends, who understood that my absurd boast was not serious.
However, the employee described this event very differently from co -workers. I was portrayed as dominant and humilling the employee. When I heard this twisted count, I was surprised. I sincerely cared about my team. I thought we were having fun. I was just being my “true me.”
My CEO coach helped me to see that as a leader, you are always “on stage.” Employees interpret all their behavior through the lens of power dynamics. When employees responsible, an essential part of leadership, resentment can boost employees to label their friendship attempts as invasive or abusive.
As a leader, you are completely responsible for creating and maintaining a place of productive, positive and support work. This means that not only should your team hold your team for your job expectations, but you must also build a healthy relationship with each team. These two demands often collide. You must carefully balance be friendly and demanding. If you go too far in any direction, your authority and respect suffer.
The limits help you maintain this balance. Here are some strategies to build healthy limits with employees.
Related: Marc Andreessen says that you should not bring your being to work
Be the person that your dog believes that you are
I like this aphorism because it captures with humor an important leadership concept: employees judge it for what you do for them, not what you achieve as a leader.
It is possible that employees do not like when they are responsible, but they like if it shows a genuine group for their growth and success. Offer a constant stimulus, vocal recognition and genuine positivity minimizes your negative perceptions as a leader.
Be a great cucumber
It is completely normal to feel frustrated, especially with co -workers. It is equally healthy to vent those frustrations to friends or counselors. However, employees cannot be their advisor.
Draising employees sounds cruel, petty and vindictive. It will destroy any confidence and credibility that has accumulated. Share frustrations or concerns with a mentor, therapist or professional coach. Maintain a quiet, positive and support attitude with employees, especially those who irritate it.
Adopt a growth mentality
The guilt and signage of fingers are toxic behaviors in the workplace, especially when a leader does. Create animosity and fog. It must rise above guilt to adopt a growth mentality.
Instead of focusing on who is the culprit, focus on learning and growing. Recognize failure, but balances that with the resolution to learn and improve. When my company lost an agreement, I was obsessed with discovering why and what we could learn. This turned each loss into the opportunity to adjust our processes, learn from our mistakes and gain more offers in the future.
Building a “non -blame” limit ensures that its leadership is based on continuous personal improvement and not toxic behaviors.
Related: treating employees as friends can be a dangerous game.
The sound of silence
Silence is a powerful limit. Let the employees speak, especially when something is wrong. Resist the impulse to tell you what is wrong or how to solve it. Instead, be curious and ask questions. Let the issue take responsibility.
More, when you ask a difficult question, remain silent and allow employees to answer time. You can feel uncomfortable, but silence allows people to assume responsibility.
Protect your privacy
Its privacy is a critical limit. Maintain superficial personal data. Avoid emotionally sensitive issues such as politics, religion, sexuality or personal wealth, since they can incite unnecessary conflicts or resentment.
Whether at work or socialization, encourage employees to talk about themselves instead of sharing their personal information. This builds a report and makes it more accessible.
Establish clear limits of working life
The privacy of its employees is equally important as yours. His authority over employees ends at the time they leave work. This is a sacred limit that you must respect as a leader.
Avoid judgments about what employees do (or do not) after work. If you must communicate with an employee after work, please them for your time.
Strategically socialize
It is good for social, with its employees periodically. However, you must maintain professional behavior at all times. Remember, you are your manager even after work or in a social environment.
Limit alcohol consumption and avoid divisive conversations. If your spouse accompanies you, be sure to follow the guidelines and Mintain a united front.
Related: employee or friend? How to keep limits with people who work for you
Avoid competitive situations
Let your employees win. Any competition with employees must remain informal, friendly and devoid of real bets. Never passionate about real money and avoid boasting after victories to avoid negative perceptions. If you participate in physical activities such as playing basketball or exercising, it is still your boss. The too aggressive or antagonist behavior will translate back into work and can provide fuel for negative narratives.
You are always the boss, at work, after work, all the time. While it is possible to build friendly relationships with employees, true friendships are challenging.
The limits already protect you from your employees. They help maintain respect and authority. They allow you to be friendly without overcoming your authority.
At the beginning of my career as a founder and CEO, I wanted to desperately liked my employees. I believed that if I behave like my “true self”, I could build stronger links with my team. Despite my good intentions, it rarely worked.
I had to learn and learn a crucial leadership lesson: OneThe mployes are not your friends. The inherent authority of his role creates barriers to form healthy friendships. Worse, employees can take advantage of their kindness to undermine their authority. This happened to me many years ago, and when he did, he was devastated.
He attended an industry conference with some employees. On the last night of the conference, there was a great party with food, drinks, a DJ and games. I challenge an employee to a video game competition, which I won. Then I boasted in my victory in a dramatic and extravagant way. I behave in this way with my friends, who understood that my absurd boast was not serious.
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