I like to have people for meals, and over time it has become a second nature. I noticed a recurring question of friends and readers focused on the basic concepts of accommodation. Curious to know more, I asked a question on Instagram asking what accommodation issues you want me to cover. About and again, people asked how plan A dinner: special how to decide who to invite between different groups of friends who do not know each other.
With so many questions about how to start hosting, I want to share my advice on how to plan a dinner at home. This includes how to create a guest list, how to decide a date and how to send invitations. It is these initial steps that may sound simple, but get trapped people and dissuade them to house them.
I hope this publication eliminates some of the barriers that prevent many planning dinners (or lunches, happy hours and simple afternoon meetings) and connect with people in their lives.
If you are anxious for more accommodation content, my friend Lisa and I are launching an entertaining series about White & Delight at the end of this month. We will immerse ourselves in how to organize different types of meetings at home. In each publication, we will share All You should know so that the accommodation is a breeze, including a timeline for the previous day and the day of a detailed grocery list and recipes for each menu element. Stay tuned!
How to plan a dinner in 3 simple steps
1. Create a guest list
Ask some questions
Before creating your guest list, ask some questions. The first is, How many people can I house comfortably? This question takes into account tickets such as space in your home, time at your time and how much you want to budget. I almost always think it is better to invite less people (generally between two and four) than a large group. I prefer to have talked to someone in my house!
Then ask yourself, What do I want to get out of the occasion? This question helps me reduce how I want the meeting to see who I want to invite. Your answer can be one of the following options (or something completely different):
- Build new relationships
- Strengthen the relationships I already have
- Groups of interview friends
Create your guest list
Here are some ways in which I could do it, depending on your answers to the previous questions.
- If your goal is to build new relationships, consider inviting up to four people with whom it is not yet close.
- If your goal is to strengthen the relationships you already have, consider inviting one or two close friends.
- If your goal is to mix groups of friends, consider inviting five people of different social circles whom you think would enjoy knowing.
Examples of the guest list
To throw some light on how the different guest lists look, here are some examples of meetings that I am housed.
Organizing people from different groups of friends.
My goal for this child is undressing my friends (and me) outside their comfort zone and giving them the opportunity to connect with people who could enjoy.
I keep these children of occasions to five guests Max (six including me). I find that anything that more than six people are disseminated for everyone to have the opportunity to meet. Six people is the perfect number for group conversations and Lateral conversations
Organize two families of the school of children.
My goal for this occasion was that Joe and I simply know some couples with whom we will interact at school at a personal level.
Keep the guest list to two couples, so it would be easy to connect with all the attendees. More than two could mean that we are chatting in small pods instead of connecting completely.
As a group, we decided to have children at this dinner for the same reason: we wanted the children to have a chans to meet better too. In this case, a family had an older brother who was “in charge” or the children while we ate. We divide the kitchen for the adult menu between families and ask for pizza for children instead of eating the same food as us.
Organization of a central group of friends.
My objective for this occasion child is to catch up with the people I love in a relaxed environment.
On a recent occasion, I invited a group of university friends that I had in a long time. Keep the guest list at four (five, including myself), which felt like a number small enough to become familiar with everyone.
Organize a friend (or a couple) for a simple meal.
My goal for this child’s child is really re -connecting to this person (or couple).
This is an example of accommodation, I turn a lot, and it is one that I think people forget or discount. These simple occasions are how I maintain close relationships with the central friends of my life. The food is usually very simple, such as an abundant soup or a large and warm paste dish.
2. Decide a date
Once you have your guest list, you decide a date. If I am organizing a more elaborate meeting, I will usually opt for a weekend. If I am organizing something simple, one night of the week is a good option.
I could choose a date based on what works for me and what I think will work well for the people I invite. Or, I will limit myself to a couple of dates that work for me and then I will send a brief list of options to the guests, so that they can intervene according to their availability. If it is a newer group of people that I have not lodged regularly, I will probably send some options. If it is a nearby group of friends, you are more likely to simply choose an appointment.
Remember, as a host, it is in the driver’s seat. Don’t be afraid to be decisive! While sometimes it is necessary to send options instead of simply making decisions yourself, I find that crowdsourcing preferences can be superior. Part of the role of the host is to guide things, not only the day itself but also in the planning process.
3. Send the invitation
How to send an invitation
My recommendation: Keep the simple invitations! I almost always send the invitation through a simple text. This is how it looks:
- If the people I invite are already known, I will send a group text message.
- If they are not known, I send a text message to each person separate and include a list of attendees to be aware of who will be there. Once everyone has confirmed, I will merge the text thread so that I can keep everyone aware of the details. As everyone is already in the same text thread, the new acquaintances can omit the step of exchanging numbers if they want to connect again after the party.
- If you were organizing a more elaborate meeting with a large group (which is strange), it would consult another route such as sending a subsequent paper invitation through the text. I am not a great email person when it comes to dinner plans!
I think it is better to defer the media you owe or use with friends. For me, that is text. If that is an email for you, go ahead!
When to send an invitation
As a general rule, the less close you are from the guests, the more the invitation must be sent. The closer they are from them, the closer the invitation can come out. If I have crowdsourcing dates, I tend to send the text of the invitation a little before what I would. Here are some general deadlines that I tend to follow:
- If I am organizing a mixture of people from different groups of friends, I will send the invitation 14 to 30 days in advance.
- If I am organizing new friends, I will send the invitation 7 to 20 days in advance.
- If I am organizing my main group of friends, I will send the invitation 3 to 14 days in advance.
- If I am organizing a close friend or couple, I will send the invitation 3 to 14 days in advance, sometimes equally in the morning of.
Example of invitations
In the invitation, I include all the key details: the date, the time, the list of guests (if it is not a group text message), and if I have any specific plan, they should know. If I am accommodating someone I have had before, I will also ask them to share if they have dietary restrictions so that they can plan or update the compliance of the menu.
Here are some sample texts that I have sent:
- “Hey! I’m doing a lasagna, because to come tonight? Children are welcome.”
- “We behave that it cooked together in a while, we will find a date that works for the group! I am quite open in September. How about the week of September 12?
- “Lisa, Marlo and I are cooking together on August 6. Can you join us at my house?”
- “Hello! I will have your spouses for dinner. We are around August 16, 17 and 24-18. Any of those dates work for you? Children or not?
Do what works for you
The singular advice I have to plan a dinner is to do it in a way that reflects You. I am quite informal, so the text messages and the shortest timelines work for me. If you are a more formal person, extend the invitation in a way that feels more comfortable. Maybe you like to make plans more anticipated. If you are type A, use the dodle to crowdsource dates and assign people a place to bring. People love to tell what to do in situations like this!
When you open yourself to connect with others in your home about food, don’t have the templay temptation Martha Stewart. The best invitations are those that are sent with the genuine intention to spend time together. It cannot be wrong if every decision you make is in mind.
Do you like this topic? Read these publications below:
Cookbook Club 101: What is and how to start yours
7 or my best tips to organize a dinner that everyone will enjoy
My 8 favorite cookbooks to cook right now
6 entertaining essential elements that make accommodation more fluid
Kate is the founder of White & Delight. He is currently learning to play tennis and is forever Try the limits of your creative muscle. Follow her on Instagram on @witanddeelight_.
